Jasmine and Pop Culture

At ten o'clock a few nights ago we heard Jasmine singing in her room. We put Jasmine to bed around eight o'clock every night. However, many nights she lies awake and talks and sings. Ten o'clock was extremely late so we listened in on her. She was singing a song that sounded like "perferator" or "operator," it wasn't clear. The next day as we set out in the car Jasmine asked for music (the radio) as she always does. This time she was more specific saying she wanted "perferator." We couldn't figure out exactly what she wanted, we figured it was probably a song she heard at church and probably was in Spanish. You can imagine our surprise when Britney Spears' new song "Radar" was played on the radio and Jasmine exclaimed joyfully, "PERFORATOR!" She could have only heard this song one time before on the radio as we don't listen to Britney Spears. Aye, yie, yie! She's only two and a half years old and we already have to be careful as to what she is listening.

I downloaded "Radar" for Jasmine and play it for her once or twice a day. No matter where she is in the house or what she is doing, she comes running and begins danicing (twirling in place) as she sings "perforator."

First morning at the Gym

Today was the first day that I was not officially the pastor of the church here in Asunción. I've handed the baton off to Pastor Marcos Bernardini. Our mission gives us the last month of our work in country to prepare for our departure, which includes packing, selling, cleaning and saying our good-byes. I decided months ago that I was going to use the month to get back in the habit of exercising (which for me is running). So this morning, I put the theme to Rocky in myipod and went to the gym to begin my aerobic training.

My mind typically has been consumed with the church for many months... I don't feel like I have had much time to think about anything else. So, I thought it might be interesting to journal my first thoughts away from the church.

Thoughts
1. I searched for a bike in the corner away from the crowd. (Thought: Ohhhh, bikes in the corner are in the corner because they are in need of repair. I'm feeling a little embarrassed after having tried each of the three bikes before realizing that).
2. Spandex is the clothing of choice. (Thought: The only other person not wearing spandex is the janitor. Everyone probably thinks I'm one of the janitors).
3. The stationary bike has different courses. Unfortunately, I don't know how to program it and have to pick a course from the "mountain" category. (Thought: Why did I choose the 1996 Olympic mountain course? Atlanta obviously is not flat).
4. Feeling the burn. (Thought: I never realized I had an inner buttocks).
5. Macho in Latin culture. (Thought: Why couldn't I just tell the trainer that I was tired and that I couldn't do another 30 minutes on the stationary bike).
6. Just because I used to run doesn't mean that I still can. (Thought: This inner buttocks sensation seems to kick in at the 8 kph pace... but when I go any slower I look like a wimp).
7. My wife doesn't want a minute-by-minute update via the cell phone. (Thought: When I retire Karen is going to kick me out of the house).
8. Heart Beat monitor. (Thought: That's neat. Oooo, I don't think the red zone is where I want to be... is 190-200 bad?).
9. Two older women on either side of me while on the tread mill. (Thought: Are they going faster than I am? I'm going to go over the 8 kph mark... hey, my butt doesn't hurt. Woohoo! Ouch! Dab nabit... just you wait old ladies, I'll get you yet).
10. I dropped my keys. (Thought: I'm just going to walk home because I'm certain that once I bend down to pick them up I'm not going to stand up again).

Conclusion
I need to get back into ministry as soon as possible. Left to myself without purpose, I really don't have anything worth sharing.

The good news is that I did accomplish more than I thought I would. I worked out for well over an hour and burned over 600 calories. My initial goal is to burn over 1000 calories a day inexercise and lose 20 pounds in a months. My wife thinks I'm crazy. After journaling my thoughts I'm beginning to think she might be right.

Thanks for your prayers and support. We are TEAM!

Driving in the Spirit

Another "huh?" moment in Paraguay is experienced while behind the wheel. Where do I begin? For an insightful look at Paraguayan driving refer to Brenda's Blog from Paraguay.

In the States if anyone drove the way the Paraguayans drive we would think they were an aggressive and angry person. At times it is not unusual for them to drive on the wrong side of the road (literally), honk you as soon as the light turns green even though you are advancing through the intersection, pass you only to cut right in front of you and my personal favorite is when they stop in the middle of the road having put their hazard lights on with the thought that its permissible because the hazard lights are on.

I've realized that Paraguayan drivers are not angry people. They are the same loving and accepting people I meet everyday outside of their vehicles. While driving I've had to fight against negative thoughts that would otherwise be directed towards the "bad" drivers.

Let me attempt to follow the same pattern as the previous post and interpret how the Paraguayan views their behavior.

Driving on the wrong side of the road many times is done because the roads were not built to contain the amount of traffic that is in Paraguay. When a red light turns green, the on-coming lane is frequently used as an extra option if there is nothing coming towards you. It is not utilized as a passing lane, rather as a full-fledged lane of traffic. Typically the driver will "know" that on-coming traffic is not coming there way. The Paraguayan view is that traffic will grid-lock if everyone remains in single file.

The Paraguayan is honking me as a courtesy, not as a sign of aggression. You must understand that the traffic lights are situated at the closest corner to you as you approach an intersection rather than being hung over the middle of the intersection. When a car stops at the corner, often times the driver cannot see the light as they've advanced just far enough towards the intersection so as not to have a good view. Therefore, when the light turns green the Paraguayan behind will sound their horn as a courtesy for the person in front to proceed. Rather than thinking the person behind me is aggressive, I now find myself giving a thumbs up or saying "thank you" even though I usually see the light turn from red to green.

I think the hardest driving habit for me to accept is when someone cuts me off. However, in my attempt to understand I've come to the conclusion that its the Paraguayans attempt to not offend someone that propels them in front of my car within inches of a collision. Paraguayans typically run late, many times due to their people-oriented-ness. They will not leave the company with one person for the sole reason of keeping an appointment with someone else. I choose to believe the Paraguayan who is passing me, only to cut me off, is probably running late and does not want to offend their next appointment. It's with concern for the other person that they cut me off... if they knew me personally I doubt that they would ever cut me off (I'm still trying convince myself of this one).

The hazard light phenomena is just the Paraguayans' belief that everyone else will be as patient as they would under such circumstances. Obviously they weren't considering the gringo fresh off the boat. Typically when they stop in the midst of traffic and use this light they are dropping someone or something off, waiting to pick someone or something up. I believe that they don't see it as the "hazard-light" but more so as the "just-a-minute-please-light".

I mentioned at the end of the last entry that as missionaries we "recognize the differences in the culture, (try to) hold off on judgment and attempt to become part of the host culture while remaining faithful and vocal about the message we have committed ourselves to bringing." The driving example is more consequential than the shopping cart management example. That is to say, I could rationalize my being upset behind the wheel more so than I could behind the cart. This is why I ask our prayer supporters to pray for us that we may always exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. I don't want to rationalize the rightness of my negative attitudes. But I want to always present a godly example to those we've been called to minister. Would you please pray that for us? That we would represent Christ by demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit in our lives.

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit" Galatians 5:22-25.

Thank you for your prayers and support. We are TEAM.

Shopping Cart Management

We live life according to our own cultural programing, applying our own "rational perspective" to the events that take place around us. Karen and I have been here in Asunción for just about three years and I still find myself wondering, "What in the world just took place? or Why in the world did that person do that?" Frequently the truth of the matter is that I'm viewing the Paraguayan from my programmed perception of how things "should" be.

One such thing, which is really quite simple and non-consequential is shopping cart management at the grocery store. I first noticed this in Costa Rica, and I've experienced it in Argentina and Brazil, so I assume that it is a Latin practice. In the grocery line at the super market you must leave the cart in the line and not take it all the way through to the other side of the cash register. At first this was peculiar and sometimes a bit annoying. For example, if there is a line of 10 people behind you, everyone must back up 3 feet in order to pull out the empty cart; then they will move forward again 3 feet and repeat the process until it is their turn to pay. "Just take your cart through the line, it will be much more efficient" is what was going through my mind and being stated out loud in the privacy of the car to my wife (who didn't think it was a BIG deal).

Maybe Latin super market management looks at this way: If everyone was permitted to take the cart through to the other side they would all take their own groceries to their cars or to their homes in the cart. This would cause quite the disaster in the parking lot with unattended carts (as Americans we've all experienced this) and many of the carts would go missing because the people would take them home.

The Paraguayan grocery clerk I'm sure sees it this way: If everyone was permitted to use the carts on the other side of the register they would have no need for me. I would be dispensable and would lose the money earned from the tips (typically the tip would be equivalent to about 20¢).

I'm not certain if the above reasons are valid. I'm sure the situation and my reasons aren't going to bring about change in your life. But this gives you an idea of what we as missionaries experience. We recognize the differences in the culture, (try to) hold off on judgment and attempt to become part of the host culture while remaining faithful and vocal about the message we have committed ourselves to bringing.

Thanks for your prayers and support. We are TEAM!

Cultural Lesson # ∞ + 9

Group versus Individual Mentality
The United States is a very individualistic country. According to a study made by Geert Hofstede, Emeritus Professor at Maastricht University of the Netherlands the US has a 91% individualism rating (IDV). During my first term as a missionary I've learned that my ability to work in Paraguay, or for that matter, anywhere in Latin America, will be greatly affected by my ability to work according to a group mentality rather than an individualistic one. Our desire is to one day work in Venezuela, they scored an IDV of 12%.

There are six countries in the Geert Hofstede research that have individualism (IDV) statistics that near that of the US: Australia (90), United Kingdom (89), Netherlands and Canada (80), and Italy (76)

My cultural formation has taught me that "I" am important. That my goals and the achievement of those goals are a priority. In fact, my goals are more important than so-and-so's goals, that is to say I'm not going to, by nature, miss out on achieving my goal for the sake of the other guy. I will encourage those around me to set goals, to achieve their goals, to be an individual and I will help them do so if I see that as a goal of mine. As individuals we've been raised to believe that we have inalienable rights to pursue happiness according to the manner that we determine is good.

Although the above-mentioned is true concerning my cultural coding, I don't buy into it 100%. I have values that guide me and keep me from the egotistical extreme, such as: the Bible, my immediate family and service to others (you can read the side-bar of my blog to understand my values in more detail). However, I do struggle within this culture where the norms are very different. I'm in the process of reprogramming myself.

In the culture of Paraguay the group is more important than the individual. It is more important that we conform to the common goal rather than going out on our own to do something different. In this culture, as in many cultures, the dreams and desires of the individual should be limited when necessary for the common welfare of the group. The benefits for the extended family are more of a priority than even my immediate family.

I've learned here in Paraguay that a family member has a strong sense of loyalty towards their family.
We are a church planting organization. Our goal is to multiply ourselves and plant churches here, there and everywhere. Now imagine that you raise up a leader, he/she receives a seminary education, they are prepared for ministry and you are ready to send them out. Only to find out that it is usually difficult (in some cases impossible) to get the person to move away from their family to the area that is in need of the new church. With coaxing they will probably move out of their comfort zone and do so, but it could cause some major dilemmas for them and their family structure. I think we are beginning to see this already as we attempt to plant churches in the greater Asunción area and we are not even considering the interior as of yet. What is the answer? I believe the team has a lot to mull over in the years to come to answer this question, especially as we look to the interior of the country. I do believe that part of the answer is giftedness. Who among the Paraguayans have the gift of apostleship or that of being a missionary?

I've learned that praise must be directed towards the group rather than the individual as it can cause damage to both the individual and the group.
Cultural snafus have been committed as I've praised the achievements of an individual in a public setting. I've seen what I meant for good turn out ridiculously muddled. The individual receiving the honor often times has struggled with pride and those not receiving have struggled with jealousy (you can read my previous post about Holy Jealousy). As missionaries we must learn the art of embracing the group in order to convey our appreciation, even as we may wish to show our appreciation on an individual basis (This is something I believe is imperative for short term teams to understand).

Promotions should depend on one's time invested and experience rather than one's performance and achievement.
OUCH! At the end of the day, not only do I want/expect the pat on the back for a job well done, I expect payment. As Rod Tidwell taught Jerry Maguire, we all want to see the money. We want promotion based on performance. In order to work in a cross-cultural environment we need to leave some things at the door, as much as it may cause us to be uncomfortable. Therefore, promotion based on seniority is not necessarily wrong while promotion based on performance is not necessarily right. When in Rome folks.... I'm beginning to see how this cultural norm works (they all work, we just need the lenses to see properly). When someone has invested the time, when they have been faithful during good and during hard times and when they've gained the experience necessary, then they will be prepared for the promotion. I have seen how premature promotion can nip me in the butt if I'm not careful.

Decision making is slow and that is OK.
This is difficult for me. According to my DISC personality profile I have a hard time working with slow people (and when I say slow I'm not talking mentally challenged... some people are slower and more careful than I tend to be). We tend to be faster as Americans, because we are a society of initiators and risk-takers. If we want to serve with excellence in Paraguay or in the Latin context we must learn to s-l-o-w i-t d-o-w-n. We need to be vision casters. We need to communicate with as many people as possible prior to making decisions. We need to listen to the group.

Out of all the cultural lessons that I've posted so far (this is #10), I believe this is the most significant. If an American wants to minister or even work professionally in Latin America, this concept must be understood and mastered. I've made my share of mistakes the first term because I did not understand this norm. Hopefully I'll be better equipped for the next cultural context in which we will serve.

Thanks for your prayers and support. We are TEAM!

Cultural Lesson # ∞ + 8

Holy Jealousy

A friend and I were talking the other day and he told me he was struggling again with holy jealousy (envidia santa). When you hear something new in a new language it takes some time to process what has been said. While he continued to explain his struggle I was off with my own thoughts thinking:

"Envidia means jealousy and Santa means holy. I must not have heard him correctly because these two things do not go together."

"Fulano, excuse me," I said, "but did you say envidia santa? "Yes," he replied. "You will have to explain this one to me, because this is the first time I'm hearing of it."

I refer to him as fulano as this is the generic way to refer to anyone in general in Spanish, similar to "so-and-so" in English

My friend told me that holy jealousy is a term that he believes to be popular throughout Latin America and is not unlike a white lie. "Many people believe that white lies are acceptable even though you and I know that they are not," he explained. And apparently envidia santa is viewed similarly. He continued by relating an example of envidia santa:

Let's say that fulana (feminine for fulano) has a spiritual gifting that I desire, such as the ability to lead worship. When I question the Lord as to why I don't have that gift and even resent my sister because she has it and I don't, this is envidia santa.

At this moment I'm thinking, "No, this is covetousness."

The struggle my friend is having reminded me of a conversation that I had in our youth cell one evening when discussing Romans chapter 12. In verse 15 Paul writes the following: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." The group told me that it is easy to mourn with those who mourn, but it is difficult to rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Because this perspective is opposite of my experience I asked them to explain. One of the young people shared an example of a friend being given a new bicycle. Although the friend is rejoicing because of his great fortune, it would be difficult for the young person to rejoice because he does not have a bicycle.

This discussion has provoked a lot of thought over the past several months. Why can I so easily rejoice over the good fortune of others? and Why is it not as natural for me to mourn with others?

I believe that I rejoice over the successes and blessings of others because my cultural context has programmed me to believe that I can be successful and blessed as well if I work hard for it. For example, my boss here in Paraguay is receiving a new Mac laptop today and I am genuinely excited for him. I want one too, but I'm not jealous. To be completely honest, in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "I'm going to get me one of those when I get back to the states." The Paraguayan does not have the same opportunity. I have learned that the blessings we have in the states are not the reality everywhere. There is not always a reward for hard work. At the end of a hard day's work it is possible (I almost want to say probable for those of a lower economic station in life) that you will not receive the reward that is due and often times promised. Would I struggle with jealousy if I grew up in a culture like that?

The paraguayan has been formed in a culture of hard knocks. Most have experienced great disappointments. And I believe because of this they are a compassionate or empathetic culture. They don't find it hard to mourn with others. I will mourn with others, but it is definitely more uncomfortable than rejoicing.

Which is better? Which culture is better?
It's not a question of either/or, it's both/and. What can I take away from my paraguayan experience? What can I learn and how can I grow? I hope that part of it is a greater compassion and sensitivity for those around me. Hopefully one thing I will have instilled in the paraguayans is a joy for the successes of their brothers and sisters in Chirst because God is the giver of all that is good.

The Holy Spirit is using my cross-cultural experience to further form me. My prayer is that I will rejoice because God is the source of all that is good in my life and I will mourn because He has given me His perfect love. My contentment or sorrow is not dependent upon how hard I can work or how much I've been disappointed in the past. I am now programmed by a new culture, it's Kingdom culture.

I prayed with my friend about his struggle and explained the interdependent plan that God has for the church. How the gifting of fulana and fulano will help us as a unified whole accomplish the good works that the Lord has given us. But without depending upon others we will most likely not be a part of accomplishing the fullness of the great works that God has and we will not glorify God as He wants to be glorified.

Thank you for your support, we are TEAM!

I've Come a Long Way

Today, I experienced a bit of culture that proved to me I've come a long way. My computer's (laptop) DVD burner is kaput. I need to replace it pronto so that I can back up videos and pictures. Currently I can't collect anymore images prior returning to the states because the hard drive is filled. You can imagine how pleased I was when I found an LG DVD burner for $70 here in Asunción. I bought it early this morning and spent a good part of the day trying to get it to work on my computer. Late this afternoon I was informed by LG that it would not work and I would have to buy a different model.

That sets the stage
I enter stage right into a typical paraguayan business and explain the above details to the clerk. I attempt to terminate the conversation by saying, "If you have the other model I would love to make the purchase from you. However, if you do not have it I'll need to get a refund." The clerk tells me that they do not have the model and that she will call her boss to find out to handle the refund. After speaking with her "Heifa" (really it's spelled jefa and means female boss), she asks me if I would be able to carry the drive across town so that their technicians can look at it. "No, I'm a pastor and I need to get back to the church to lead a meeting" (hoping to communicate that I'm an honest guy... didn't work). I continue, "I bought this here, can't we resolve this here?" "I'll need to take it to our technicians in the morning and make sure that it works before giving you your refund." To which I respond, "But, it doesn't work." She then says, "I know, but I need to make sure that it does."

When I first arrived, at this point I would begin to get a little upset. But I've learned to "roll with the punches." Most times now I just ask questions to try and understand why things are the way the are, hoping to uncover a key to understanding better my adopted culture.

I continue, "So, if they find out that the DVD drive does work, what will happen?" "We'll give you a refund" she said. "And if it doesn't work." Again she says "We'll give you a refund." I then say, "I see. If it does work, you will give me my money back. But if it doesn't work, you will give me my money back. Right?" "Yes, that's right" she told me. "And why can't I get my money back right now if I'll get my money back if it works or if it doesn't work?" "Because that is not the way we do it" she replied.

I leave the store just as content as I did when I entered. I know there is something I'm not understanding. But at the end of the day, it's OK. I don't need to understand everything.

Thanks for your support. We are TEAM!

Nuestra Paraguayita

Our Little Paraguayan

Although we didn't follow through with getting her the legal documentation to be a "true" Paraguayan (we figured being a citizen of the U.S. and of Trinidad and Tobago was enough), Jasmine was born in and only has known Paraguay. She is our paraguayita. This morning at church she showed her true colors by asking Felix for his tereré. This was the first time she tried the national drink and past-time.

Tereré (the liquid inside the thermos and cup Jasmine is holding) is a typical drink from Paraguay. It is very popular among young and old people. It is common to see students going to school with a guampa and their thermos underneath their arms filled with plenty of ice and water, for summer temperatures can reach 40° to 45°C (104° to 113°F).

Workers used to have a "tereré break" instead of a coffee break. In most workplaces, tereré is allowed among other things because the yerba mate has stimulant effects that can be likened to the role of coffee in an American workplace.

As a popular remedy, the people of Paraguay heal various ailments such as headache, stomachache, and diarrhea by adding medicinal herbs into the water.

The act of drinking Tereré is more than just that, however. It is often used as a reason to share and chat with a partner, meet new people, or just for meditation when drinking alone at the end of the day.

Jasmine will always have her roots in Paraguay.

Thank you for your support. We are team!